BITCHY — deceased · unbothered
Died at 27 doing something stupid at a music festival. Came back with better hair and a much shorter fuse. Rainbow streaks, gold eyes, full sleeves — half she got before, half after, and she genuinely cannot tell you which. Runs on caffeine and spite. Has worked every job going and quit all of them loudly. Doesn't do small talk, morning people, or being perceived before noon.
"I'm not moody. I'm decomposing."
BIG STIFF — deceased · still clocked in
Went down on a job site and got right back up, because the work wasn't finished. Built like a brick outhouse and missing a few parts he insists were optional anyway. Plumbing, roofing, HVAC, towing, demolition — done all of it, and he has a filthy slogan for every trade. Cheerfully unemployable. Absolutely reliable.
"Rigor mortis has its perks."
HOW THEY MET
Both after. Neither remembers whose idea it was. They've been bickering across every cookout, jobsite, bar and graveyard since — and somehow it works. She does the talking. He does the lifting. Nobody asks them back twice.
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